Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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