dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize