Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize