Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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