you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
