How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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