but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
