So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
