Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
