so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
