apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
