just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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