I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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