Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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