We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
