question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
