Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
