I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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