You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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