Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
