I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.