i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood