i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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