do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
