no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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