3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My hand turned me down
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize