don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
