the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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