This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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