Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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