this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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