I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
