so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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