So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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