woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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