The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
