And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
