Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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