Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
