Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
love makes seman taste better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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