sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
someone owes me an orgasm
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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