best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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