the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
