Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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