i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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