What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
