She's the barista slut.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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