it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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