Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
