There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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