when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
