i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
