the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
