scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize