the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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