how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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