So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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