can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
