the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently you make a good broom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
