At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
