i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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