i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
