hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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