How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize