yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
