I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
