hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
