I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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